Ask Julie: The question that I'm answering today is:

How do you get adults to deal directly with each other when there is an issue to discuss or a conflict to resolve?

Have you ever wondered the same thing? To best answer this question, it's crucial to understand why staff members are not motivated to deal with each other directly when issues come up.

One reason is because they worry way too much about what others will think of them. It's a huge base line fear that's projected outward in a lack of self-confidence. In other words, team members lack confidence and are overly concerned about hurting another's feelings or looking foolish if they have to confront someone directly.

Another reason is because they lack the skills to resolve conflicts and issues directly. What steps do I take? When do I meet with my co-worker? What happens if I feel like crying when getting to the heart if the issue? These are fears, yes, but these are also the thoughts that your staff members think and where they stop when it comes to resolving conflicts and issues directly. One of the best ways to help them build their skills in resolving issues is for you, the leader, to model effective conflict resolution and have a specific step-by-step system in place that your staff members can follow.

Now, there could be one more reason. If you're workplace has a climate where gossip is the norm, it is a tough challenge for staff members to pull out of the gossip and focus on resolving issues. Meaning that they would rather stay stuck in the gossip for many reasons (it's fun…it makes the day go by faster…they want to fit it…) as opposed to resolving conflicts and issues directly.

Too often I hear child care leaders say to their staff: "If you have an issue or conflict with one of your co-workers, work it out directly with them." That's good in theory but the reality of what plays out is that the staff person never arrives at the destination of resolving the issue at hand. Instead they go around and gossip, complain and vent about the situation and 3 days, 6 months or a year down the road the issue is still unresolved and is now a huge emotional weight on your staff member's shoulders. This then becomes what I call a staff de-motivator.

SOLUTIONS:

Begin the process of modeling effective conflict resolution by creating a specific step-by-step system that you can implement when situations arise. I have one that's available to members of my inner circle. I recommend that you put your steps on a piece of paper and then begin modeling the use of your conflict resolution system.

VERY IMPORTANT:

This means when someone brings an issue to your attention, you pull out a sheet of paper with your conflict resolution steps on it and let your staff members see you completing the form. Use the form, which represents your system, as often as possible. Through your modeling an effective system for conflict resolution, your staff will learn an effective route to resolving conflicts and issues in a positive and professional fashion.

About Julie:

Julie Bartkus is the "Staff Motivation Solution" for early care and educational professionals and the founder of www.MotivateTeachers.com. If you want to know what is really de-motivating your staff, ask Julie Bartkus. She is an internationally known speaker and coach who is dedicated to helping leaders create the positive and productive workplaces that they desire and deserve. She is best known for helping leaders transform their workplaces through eliminating the destructive communication patterns (such as workplace gossip) and mindsets that keep their teams stuck.

Her articles have been circulated throughout the world through publications such as Child Care Information Exchange, The School Administrator, Child Care Business, Television and Entertainment Guide, Illinois News (A publication of AEYC).

Julie offers customized keynote presentations, full-day retreats (on-site and through associations), group coaching and one-on-one personal coaching.

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copyright 2011, Julie Bartkus, 1.800.211.5671, www.MotivateTeachers.com