Julie Bartkus

Since venting is a need that most all of us have it's a near impossibility to refrain from it. We all have things that frustrate us throughout the day. The challenge is to find constructive ways to vent.

When working with teams we explore venting and how it is a constructive communication pattern and a destructive one. This makes the topic of venting a very tricky one to address.

It's destructive when we vent to everyone and anyone who is willing to listen. I recall one leader who shared with me that staff members were venting to parents and potential new staff members.

This resulted in negative word of mouth advertising. So much that while the leader was shopping at a local grocery store the clerk had stated that she's sorry to hear about the problems going on at her child care program. The leader was shocked that the word had spread so far and so fast. She later thought about the customers that she recently lost and about how hard it has been to attract and retain great staff.

At another child care program I had the opportunity to interview all staff members to understand their perspective on their desired changes that would improve workplace morale.

Several staff members said that they wish their leaders wouldn't gossip about staff. You see - they stated that they could overhear their leaders venting and complaining about staff throughout the day. The leaders were behind closed doors but their voices and derogatory comments were heard. This resulted in many destructive reactions -- gossip, hurt feelings and a separation from their leadership team (a feeling of it's "us" versus "them")

One staff member admitted to having a close relationship with the director. The director often sought her out to vent her frustrations about her co-workers. After the director vented to her -- she now felt like she needed to vent so she told her confidant. Of course this resulted in gossip and negative feelings.

At another child care program staff shared how the leaders vented behind closed doors but in an office with a large glass window where everyone could see in. Staff shared how their leader's body language said it all.

Venting is a human need. I wrote an article that you'll find on this site titled: Even Potatoes Explode When They Can't Vent. It's a great one to share with your staff about how to vent constructively. Here's they link if you haven't read it.

http://www.leadershipconnectionforchildcare.com/public/114.cfm

Constructive ways to vent include:

*Utilizing a journal (or a piece of paper) to write down your frustrations.

*Venting to a confidential source OUTSIDE of work and most advisably with someone you do not work with (friend, support group, therapist).

*Utilizing our discussion forum on this website http://www.LcforCC.com to vent your frustrations and brainstorm for solutions.

*When your emotions are in control talk with the person who you have issues with and brainstorm together for solutions. Listen to our audio program on personality conflicts. Solutions are offered on how to get to resolution of issues. Here's the link:

http://www.leadershipconnectionforchildcare.com/members/201.cfm.

When issues are resolved positively and directly the need to vent will be greatly minimized.